I READ ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT BIRTH & BABIES – THE BUSINESS OF BABY. HERE IS MY REVIEW.

On Friday I started reading The Business of Baby, by Jennifer Margulis. The author’s name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place her until I looked at her picture on the book jacket. It was then I remembered seeing her interviewed in Frontline’s piece on vaccines. She is not a fan. In the interest of full disclosure I was a little bummed. I did not agree with a lot of what she said on Frontline, and was a little leery of reading a whole book by her. That being said, it seemed well-researched, covering a lot of topics from prenatal care through baby’s first year, and had good initial reviews on Amazon. I dove in.

The Business of Baby

I finished the book last night and let’s just say it gave  me a lot of things to think about. It is a book that I wish was around before I had children because some of what I read would have impacted decisions I made, questions I asked, questions I didn’t ask, and products I purchased.

The purpose of this post/review is to highlight some of the information I found most thought-provoking and give people a few things to consider who might not be interested in reading a book like this, but who do read this blog.

I didn’t read this book and take everything at face value. Much of what I found compelling echoed things I had read before. In that sense some of the information reassured me about decisions I made as a pregnant woman and as a mom. Some of the information made me wish I had trusted my gut.

ULTRASOUND

ultrasound

Saturday morning I took Madeline to ballet. That hour that I sit and wait is when I get a lot of reading done. I came home and told Jay that when we have our hypothetical fourth baby we will not be finding out the gender because I’m not getting any ultrasounds (unless some problem arises that makes the benefit outweigh the risks). I had read before about ultrasound changing cell structure in mice, so the idea that there might be some risks to ultrasound, especially multiple ultrasounds like some women have, or long ultrasounds like many women have around the mid-point of pregnancy, was not surprising. Anecdotally, at my 20 week ultrasound with Madeline the technician had a really hard time getting a look at her head because she kept moving away. I remember thinking that it seemed like she was trying to get away. I wish that I had just stopped the ultrasound right there. But I didn’t. I didn’t really question the safety much at that point.

Before each of my next 20 week ultrasounds I told myself that if I felt anything like I had with Madeline I would discontinue the test. The boys never seemed to be trying to escape, but after Benjamin’s Jay even told me that he felt like it was really invasive. The way she pushed the wand into my belly to get the baby to move around and “show” her the right parts. I told him that I had my reservations about it, but what if they did see something? One of those rare cases where they detect some abnormality that can be fixed via surgery while the baby is still in utero? Or something that they will need to act on as soon as the baby is born? But much of the data shows that on average, outcomes are not better because of ultrasound. Yet according to the Listening to Mothers Survery released last week, 70% of mothers have three or more ultrasounds. If results aren’t better, and the data is pretty clear that they aren’t great at estimating fetal size, one of the major reasons many women have them (and why a lot of women are induced or sectioned for a suspected “big baby”), why subject the baby to the test? Do we know they are safe in the long term? It was once thought x-rays of pregnant women were a good idea.

We do know doctors make more money when they do ultrasounds.

FORMULA

This is one of the big ones that really gets me. The way the companies producing formula influence doctors, nurses and new mothers makes me sick. I’m not attacking anyone’s decision to feed their baby formula. I know that not everyone can breastfeed. I know firsthand that it can be difficult and you might supplement or not breastfeed for a full year. What I do want people to think about is why they are using formula and why they are using the formula they are. Know how breastfeeding works and do not allow nurses at the hospital to give your baby formula or anything else. 99% of the time your baby is okay. They will lose weight after birth. They will lose more if you had interventions causing the baby to retain fluid. Your milk will come in. Colustrum is all your baby needs at first. Don’t take samples. Having the product in your home will make it more likely that you use it.

Also, Don’t call Similac or Enfamil or Gerber for breastfeeding advice.

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This is a screenshot from the Similac website. You might think, “Wow, they are so nice to offer help with breastfeeding.” But why would they really offer helpful advice? Is that in their interest? What are the chances you get through a conversation with them without them offering formula as a solution to your problems? They are not using certified lactation consultants to give you advice. They are using employees of a company producing baby formula.

Screen shot 2013-05-13 at 10.01.39 AM

Similac will even email you infomation about feeding your baby and his/her development. You can even get over $300 in “great offers.” Do you think its a coupon for a breast pump?

If the hospital or your doctor gives you formula samples do not take that as an endorsement of the brand. They got it free from the formula company so that they would give it to their patients who will see it as an endorsement and then buy it themselves. Even though they can get the same thing in a generic version for MUCH cheaper. Companies making formula donate millions of dollars to the American Academy of Pediatrics each year. Next time you are in a maternity ward or a pediatrician’s office keep an eye out for products with the brand name of formula on it – pens, notepads, tape measure for measuring baby’s head circumference, handouts about various infant care issues, posters on the wall, etc. When I had my first two babies in a military hospital in Washington I did not see one bottle or container of formula. I’m sure they had it because sometimes it is necessary, but I never saw it. With my last baby there were shelves of it in the room where they bathed the babies. Right next to the bassinet under the warmer. You couldn’t miss it. My doctor’s office had goodie bags with samples and who knows what else right behind the receptionist’s desk. There were brochures in the waiting room. These things do not support breastfeeding and undermine women’s attempts to feed their baby the most natural way possible.

Also, the United States was the only country to vote against a document written by the World Heath Organization that would protect moms from unethical advertising by formula companies. The International Code of Marketing of Breast Milk Substitutes instructed that, “Health workers should not give samples of infant formula to pregnant women, mothers of infants and young children, or members of their families.”

DIAPERS

When Houston was just over a year old I switched to cloth diapers. I heard that kids in cloth diapers get less diaper rashes and Houston was prone to some bad ones. I also heard that cloth diapered babies potty train earlier because they feel wet after they pee. I had always pictured cloth diapers from when I was a baby, secured with pins and needing to be folded and all sorts of things I didn’t feel motivated to get into. Not the case with cloth diapers these days.

We all know that disposable diapers are expensive, contain all kinds of ingredients, and produce enormous amounts of trash. I won’t go into all that. What I did find interesting was the information on potty training. Back before disposable diapers were the norm 90% of children were potty trained by around 18 months. Now the average age is between 36-39 months. Cloth diapers don’t hold as much urine and babies/toddlers still have the sensation of being wet. And that’s not comfortable. Good disposable diapers can be left on for hours and hold a lot of liquid. Now we have kids still wearing diapers at three and four years old and this is normal. But is it necessary? Many kids are interested in the potty before then, but we don’t really take on the task of potty training because they seem so young. Interestingly some research indicates that earlier potty training actually leads to less bed wetting and day wetting than waiting until the child is older. Who benefits from four year olds in diapers? The diaper manufacturers who make size 5-6 diapers. We even have pull-ups to “help” with potty training, but all they really are are more diapers. Pampers had a pediatrician on its payroll for years who advocated for a child led approach that put off potty training.

This is another place where product placement is huge. Diaper manufacturers give their products to hospitals for free to be given to new parents. They know that if you get a package of Pampers Swaddlers at the hospital, you are more likely to continue using them when you get home. What if they gave you a couple of cloth diapers and showed you how easy it can be? There is a hospital in Colorado that uses exclusively cloth. They don’t want to endorse disposable diapers generally or a brand of diaper specifically. They also think that cloth on a newborn is a better option than a diaper made out of so many synthetic ingredients.

Are cloth diapers for everyone? I would argue they can be, but in reality that’s probably not the case. I would rather a busy working mom have more time with her kids than spend it washing diapers. I use disposable sometimes when we go out and I use them at night. This is all just stuff to think about more critically.

Obviously a lot of the information in the book shows correlations. A correlation between use of ultrasound and autism. A correlation between use of disposable diapers and late potty training. No one made it through the first five minutes of a high school statistics class without learning that correlation does not equal causation. Say it with me: correlation does not equal causation. However, what correlation does do is give us things to consider. Just because it doesn’t prove causation doesn’t mean that there is not relationship. Being pregnant is an amazing and exciting experience. So is having a child. We owe it to ourselves and to our kids to do our homework. Stop buying What to Expect When You’re Expecting (it’s a waste of money – all of the information is free on their website) and buy a book that will really educate you about the process of giving birth. Spend as much time making decisions about whether to breastfeed and what kinds of diapers to use and whether to circumcise as you spend decorating the nursery and creating your gift registry.

P.S. It’s no secret how I feel about childbirth and stuff. Everyone should make their own decisions. Educated decisions. If you can point me to the book that talks about how birth with lots of interventions is better, or how breastfeeding isn’t as good as we think, or how disposable diapers are good for the environment, I will read it.

IS THE MEASURE OF A GOOD MOM THE AMOUNT OF TIME SHE SPENDS ON HER PRESCHOOLER’S VALENTINES? I SURE HOPE NOT

Just ’cause you saw it on Pinterest doesn’t mean you have to do it. Same goes for your stuff you saw on your friend’s Facebook wall or your friend’s cousin’s wife’s sister’s neighbor’s wall that Facebook lets you see because who the hell understands the privacy settings on that thing. I read a blog post on the Huffington Post this morning, titled, Can we Bring the Holidays Down a Notch? Um, yes freakin’ please. Yesterday I picked up Madeline from school and found a note about the upcoming Easter party. She has been assigned to bring in two dozen hard-boiled eggs and 17 trinkets to distribute to her classmates. I’m assuming they are making baskets or decorating paper bags to tote all of that crap home. Yes, crap. Stickers that I will find stuck to every surface of my house, pencils that need to be sharpened but of course I have no idea where a pencil sharpener is, so they will become swords (Houston will bite the erasers off first, of course), stamps and straws and bubbles and god knows what else that will end up in the trash two days later. The same stuff I just threw away after they arrived home in goodie bags from a birthday party. But that stuff is supposed to be for birthday parties. That’s why they sell it at party stores with all of the other birthday party stuff. When kids bring it home for every holiday out there it isn’t special and it just ends up as garbage a lot faster.

Valentines’s Day was eye opening. I received a note in her backpack to send in Valentines for the other kids. Along with the note was a class list. Easy, I thought. Next time we are at Walmart we will pick up a box of cards with one of her favorite characters on it and we’re good. She has kind of a long name and isn’t that great at writing it yet, so I’ll let her decide who gets which card and I will write the names. Done. It occurred to me that her making small cards for her classmates was an option, but I knew she would lose interest before finishing all 17 and we were just getting over virus #1,334,237 this winter and I wasn’t in the mood. It never occurred to me to go beyond the Valentine. Not to send in candy, not to make goody bags, not to check Pinterest for ways to waste time making Valentines for a bunch of 3-4 years olds who would never in a million years appreciate them.

I searched Pinterest this morning to see what ideas were out there for the overachieving moms and here is a sampling of what I found:

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Not too bad…at least it isn’t candy
I’m sure making rice crispy treats and cutting them into hearts isn’t that hard, but really?
Um, yeah right.
Someone (and by someone I mean someone’s mom) made this one for the kids in
Madeline’s class.

If you are a mom and you enjoy doing this kind of thing, fine. But if you find yourself doing it more for yourself then maybe you need to rethink whether it is necessary. Especially for 3 and 4 year olds. Guess what, they can’t read. They have no idea what the shovel means because they can’t read the card that says “I dig your friendship.” They love the chocolate, but do the kids really need more candy? That’s a rant for another day, but an article I read and have seen shared a few times sums it up nicely: Why is Everyone Always Giving my Kid Junk Food.

Not to mention the pressure this stuff puts on parents who both work full time outside of the home and don’t want to spend their precious time with their kids or time to themselves normally spent with a glass of wine and feet on the ottoman making elaborate Valentines. Or the parents on a really strict budget who are thankful that boxes of cards are under $3.00. Why should the kids get more than that and why should we be teaching them to expect more?

Some of this stuff gets me thinking about my honesty post a few weeks ago and the picture we paint with our Facebook posts and photos. I’d bet the farm that the moms who made Valentines like that shovel posted a photo of it on Facebook. How many of us do things with or for our kids and think, I can’t wait to post this on Facebook and show everyone what a good mom or dad I am. Look how much fun we have! Look how much I love my kids because we did a,b, and c and x,y, and z. Obviously not those exact words, but that’s kind of the intent and the spirit behind the action. I know I’m guilty of it sometimes.

We can control how we celebrate holidays in our homes and decide what we deem is important enough to recognize. I don’t think recognizing them at school is a bad idea either. But why make it so elaborate? Why isn’t it enough to be excited that your friend gave you a Valentine with a picture of your favorite Barbie or Toy Story character or took the time to draw you a picture or place stickers on the paper? School is hard enough for kids to navigate as it is without having to worry about being “shunned” for failing to provide candy for their friends. Why can’t the kids hear a story about Easter and do a craft related to the holiday. Do they really need goodie bags and a party?

I don’t place blame on sites like Pinterest or Facebook. I love them, but as with anything there are pitfalls. I’m impressed with anyone who completes projects they have pinned, as I have done one (other than using recipes I found there). However, I think it does give the impression that so many other people out there are refinishing their cabinets and making elaborate sensory boxes for their toddlers and turning trash into thirty-seven variations of treasure. Search for “Pallet” and you will see what I mean.

So next time your kid comes home with this:

Remember there are moms like me signing her daughter’s name on a flimsy piece of card stock with a picture of Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle or whoever and calling it a day.

A LITTLE HONESTY FOR YOUR FRIDAY

In my first post on this blog I expressed how I wanted to be honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to being a stay-at-home mom. I think I’ve done that so far. I haven’t posted any pictures of the one meal I make each week that is photo-worthy in some attempt to make people think dinner always looks like that. In that first post I confessed that I had ignored some cat puke on the floor for more than a day before cleaning it up. Just the other day I posted a photo of my messy living room.

Yesterday I read a blog post that a friend shared on Facebook titled, “We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook.” I don’t try to make life seem better than it is on Facebook. I don’t always share all of the bad stuff, but who wants to read all that crap anyway. People have their own problems; they don’t need to read about ALL of mine. Nothing annoys me more than vague status updates about how hard things are or how someone is always getting the short end of the stick and blah, blah, blah. But I’ll be honest. Sometimes photos are shared and statuses are updated to paint a more positive picture of things. However, I think we are all smart enough to know that no one’s life is picture perfect. Besides, I have this blog to set the record straight. In the spirit of that blog post and to put another check in the honest column, here is a picture from yesterday:

Not that it matters, but I'm not sure it was even wet. I had just changed him and let him go without pants. He might have gone and peed on the floor somewhere...I honestly can't remember because it happens almost every time he is sans diaper.

Not that it matters, but I’m not sure it was even wet. I had just changed him and let him go without pants. He might have gone and peed on the floor somewhere…I honestly can’t remember because it happens almost every time he is sans diaper.

Houston took that diaper off and left it in the kitchen. I stepped over it no less than five times during separate trips into the kitchen before I finally picked it up and put it in the diaper pail.

And if that isn’t enough, on Wednesday Houston poked Madeline in the face with the end of a comb (those pointy ones that are good for parting hair). One second they are brushing and combing her ponies, the next second she is hysterical and bleeding.

The injury and the weapon of choice

The injury and the weapon of choice

Let me know if you need my address to send me the Mom of the Year award.

IF THIS IS A JOB I COULD GET WITH A Ph.D. IN CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY, SIGN ME UP

This week we subscribed to the New York Times with home delivery on Sunday. Yesterday we received it for the first time. I’ve been up since 6:00 with Madeline and Houston, so I thought I might take some time during Benjamin’s morning nap to read a little bit. I already read most of the articles that looked interesting on my phone, but still wanted to check out the “Sunday Styles” section. You know, the section with engagement announcements and stories about Oscar fashion but lacking any actual news. I was drawn to it by the front page and teasers for two articles: one on marijuana etiquette in these new times of legal pot (we do plan on moving back to Washington one day) and the other having something to do with nannies or babysitters.

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In the first article I learned some real eye opening information like how smoking in front of children is nearly universally frowned upon. The second article was more interesting. I learned that rich people who employ nannies full-time and need help managing their feelings about their employee(s) can pay a clinical psychologist $200/hour for consultation services. I’ll admit, I was judgmental about the parents mentioned in this article and the really hard time they seem to be having managing their expectations for their multiple nannies. It didn’t help that the first example was one from the wife of James Van Der Beek (yes, of Dawson’s Creek fame) and included her saying, “I just find that if I’m around, I’m the one taking care of the kids.” Now, if she works from home and is being interrupted to take care of the kids during her work hours, I can understand her frustration with the nanny. The article only mentioned that she is a parenting blogger. For the record, I could call myself a parenting blogger. I tried to find her blog, but only found her facebook page and that mentions she blogs for People.

I’m a little torn because I just googled her and read that she had a breech home birth. So I kind of love her, but don’t feel sorry for her nanny woes.

The article also quotes her saying, “I like to be preventive about things. If Olivia wakes up from her nap at four, I’d like to know that there’s a snack ready. There never is.” Now, does Olivia never get a snack, or does she have to wait five minutes while it is prepared? I have a feeling it is the latter.

I think this is one of the fundamental issues parents (usually moms) face when hiring help or putting their children in full-time care: you have to give up some control. If you want everything done your way, you have to do it yourself. Or, as the nanny consultant recommends (and seems pretty obvious to me), you need to let your nanny know your expectations. How is the sitter supposed to know that you don’t want your toddler to have to wait five minutes unless you tell her? I really can’t get past that one though. Who cares? Mrs. Van Der Beek says she does it that way because she wants to be “preventive.” Does she mean prepared, or is she trying to prevent something? Like an insane tantrum from the girl because when she wakes up she wants her snack NOW! Either way it doesn’t seem like a problem worth paying $200/hour to solve.

I can’t imagine having full-time help and I’m sure that managing people is challenging. I just have a hard time finding sympathy for rich celebrities who don’t work full-time, hire people, fail to outline their expectations, and get frustrated with their help because they aren’t playing with their kids every second of the damn day. The first issue mentioned in the article involved the nanny sitting there drinking tea while the Van Der Beeks’ seven month old son was lying on the floor. In the article Mrs. Van Der Beek said, “She lets Joshua just lie on the floor while she’s drinking her tea. Put some pep in that step. Put the tea down.” HE IS SEVEN MONTHS OLD! They’re supposed to lie on the floor sometimes. That comment makes me think there is no way this woman has not had help since the second she became a mother. What does she think seven month olds do? Maybe if he was crying I would see a problem, but just like you never wake a sleeping baby, you never move one that isn’t crying or in danger. If the kid was cool lying on the floor let the woman drink her tea! Mine would spend most of the day on the floor if he wasn’t at risk of being trampled by his brother and sister. And if my floor didn’t look like this:

When you don't have a nanny, the kids entertain themselves.

When you don’t have a nanny, the kids entertain themselves.

Hey People Magazine – I can blog for you. I don’t have any nannies or nanny consultants, so I bet I’m cheaper. My contact info is at the top of the page.

The article I read is: Smoothing the Frictions Between Parent and Nanny from the February 24, 2013 edition of the New York Times

WHAT IS IT ABOUT SCREAMING THAT IS JUST SO FUN FOR LITTLE KIDS?

Once upon a time I was a pretty self conscious person. I worried about whether I was wearing the right clothes, whether my hair was too frizzy, whether anyone noticed the pimple on my chin (or more likely, the scar left from where I picked the pimple on my chin). But those days are long gone. I can’t say that I don’t care at all what people think, but I don’t care very much and certainly not about what they think about my hair or clothes.

I don’t think I do much to draw attention to myself when I’m out and about, but boy do my kids think that needs to change. Recently Houston has taken to suddenly screaming at the top of his lungs for no discernible reason every time we are out in public. Most recently he has done this at Target, the grocery store, and Sam’s Club. When I say the top of his lungs, that’s what I mean. It is an attempt to yell as loud as his little lungs will allow. Repeatedly. I imagine most of you reading this have children or have seen children and know what I’m talking about. Therefore I’m opting not to record him screaming to illustrate the behavior. Rest assured it is loud and definitely draws attention. The reactions are varied, but usually fall into one of the following categories:

  • The silent smile. Usually another mom or maybe a younger grandmother. They’ve seen this kind of child. They might even have one. They know better than to say something to him, because attention is exactly what he wants. I like t0 think that the smile is sort of for my benefit, letting me know they understand and aren’t judging.
  • The loud laugh and “he’s got a set of lungs on him” comment. Usually a man, more often than not an older man who probably has grandchildren. Worst reaction ever. Nothing my kid likes more than a good laugh. Guaranteed to hear that scream again.
  • The “look.” Usually an older woman. Definitely judging and probably thinking, “Kids these days have no manners. My kids never would have gotten away with that.” Whatever lady. You probably just have a selective memory.
  • The sympathetic mom. This is a woman who is at the store alone and feeling high on life for that reason. She is in a great mood because her kids aren’t with her, screaming their heads off and drawing attention. She is me. She knows not to acknowledge the behavior directly and doesn’t say anything to my son, but walks by and says, “That’s usually my kid.” This is my favorite reaction because it is a good reminder that I’m not alone.

I’ve tried different tactics to stop the screaming, but to no avail. Ignoring him seems like the best option, since he is two and won’t sit and listen to an explanation about why he needs to stop. However ignoring him has not been working too well. He keeps screaming until you pay attention. As much as I don’t care what people think, I also don’t think they need to listen to my son’s scream echo off the walls of Sam’s Club all morning. Telling him to stop never works. Recently I’ve started redirecting him and suggesting he sing a song instead. A two year old rendition of Old MacDonald has to be a better option for the other shoppers. It usually works for a minute, but two aisles later he tries it again.

My fear is that my sweet little seven month old who is calmly hanging out in the Beco on my chest is soaking it all in and learning this awful behavior. This baby doesn’t cry unless he is tired or hungry (or recently because he smacked his face on the floor while attempting to crawl), which is more than I can say for his brother.

Any parents of public screamers out there? Got any tips? I’ll try anything.

HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS EVERYWHERE, I SALUTE YOU

The other day I was “helping” Madeline write her name. In case I needed a reason to feel more confident in my decision to never homeschool unless absolutely necessary, this exercise provided it. I also learned that we should have given her a shorter name. Without the letter “e” and maybe only including letters made from straight lines. I had already decided that I wasn’t going to sit there for three days while she signed her name on Valentines for her classmates, but figured it was as good a time as any to work on the skill. Not to mention her Valentines were tiny cards with pictures of My Little Pony and the 1.5 inches provided was nowhere near enough space for the eight letters in her name. My failure to suck it up and help her make homemade cards for all seventeen kids is a topic for another post.

As we sat there with a pile of paper filled with her attempts I caught myself wondering why I was so committed to her accomplishing this task at this particular time. I have absolutely no idea whether this is something she “should” be able to do. I know that I have seen photos of 3-4 year old work product friends have posted on Facebook, which made me wonder if Madeline was “behind.” If she was, was that my fault? Should I have spent more time practicing letters with her? Does she watch too much tv and that is slowing her down? We’ve practiced some, but I always felt like I was pushing her too much to do something she just wasn’t quite ready and able to do. Kind of like when I thought she should be able to go to bed in underpants and she proved me wrong. When she decided she didn’t want a pull-up anymore she was able to stay dry all night. Funny how that works.

My gut told me that at this point she could probably write all of the letters in her name with minimal practice and focus on the task. So we sat down and I wrote her name and told her to copy it. Oh. My. God. Most frustrating thing we’ve done this week. What frustrated me was not her tendency to write “e” backwards, or start all the way on the right side of the page so that there was no room for more than one letter. It was when she would just quit. I could see her lack of motivation and what looked like laziness. Now, to a three (almost four) year old, the ten minutes we spent doing this probably felt like two hours. But I knew she could do it, so I resorted to the one nearly guaranteed method of achieving the desired result: bribery. I told her if she did it I would give her a cookie. Before dinner. What do you think happened after only two more tries:

name

Not perfect, but good enough.

It’s funny when I think of how much time I spent playing school as a kid. It seemed like so much fun to be the teacher. All of those office supplies and the big desk and the books with all of the answers in them… Turns out imaginary students are a lot easier to deal with than real ones. I have so much respect for teachers, including those who are patient enough to homeschool their own students. These moments as a parent also give me newfound respect for my dad and all of the other parents who were brave enough to volunteer as coaches for their kids’ sports teams. I know I was my dad’s most difficult player, and spent most of one softball practice in the car for my bad attitude. I’ve been there when someone else’s dad sent his own daughter home from basketball practice (at least you can do that when it’s your kid).

See the girl with the puffy hair in the back row rolling her eyes? That's me. That's what my dad had to deal with (he's the guy on the end with the equally puffy hair).

See the girl with the puffy hair in the back row rolling her eyes? That’s me. That’s what my dad had to deal with (he’s the guy on the end with the beard and puffy hair).

I’ll still coach my kids when I can and try my best to treat them like everyone else even when they test me. I’ll even homeschool them if we find ourselves living somewhere where the schools are horrible (although as much as I hate the idea of paying for private school I would seriously consider it). But it will be hard and the kids won’t appreciate it. Some parents might since it took the pressure off of them to volunteer, but not the kids. Especially not my kids. Not until they are older and doing it for their children. But that’s okay. That’s what it’s all about.

I’M SOOOO OVER IT

Do you hear me coldflueveryrandomvirusmykidscouldcatch season? I am over you. I am done with fevers and coughing and snot. I don’t get grossed out easily, but there is nothing worse than snot, especially coming from the nose of a toddler who can’t seem to figure out anything to do with it other than wipe it all over his face. With his hands. And then he touches the baby. Awesome.

A snotty nose on an infant sucks too. Ever try to breastfeed a baby who can’t breathe out of his nose? I don’t recommend it. He sucks as much as he can while holding his breath, and if the milk doesn’t let down in those 2.5 seconds he freaks out. Switch boobs and repeat. Over and over until finally there is a let down and he doesn’t have to work so hard. Frustrating for everyone involved. I thought I had a great solution the last time he had a cold – - pumping. But then he got used to just how easy the bottle was and we battled for several feedings once he was feeling better to “re-establish” breastfeeding. Stubborn little boy.

Other than me getting sick, the only thing worse than sick kids is a sick husband. Familiar with “man flu?” It’s the same virus everyone else in the house has but apparently 100 times worse when an adult male is infected. I actually heard a report on the local news here saying that some research indicates this is a real phenomenon and not just men being dramatic. I’d love to meet the man (had to be a man, no question) who did that study.

If I get sick it always seems to be once everyone else is better. All I want to do is lie in bed and sleep and watch Real Housewives or my Felicity DVDs and be left alone. I will keep dreaming. At this point the kids have been cooped up in the house for a week and they need to get out. Unfortunately they are all under the age of four and sympathy for a sick mommy is not a feeling they are quite in touch with. Luckily “mom flu” is short-lived.

Whatever has infected our house this time is making its way through the kids and husband and (so far) leaving me alone. Madeline had a 104.7 fever the other night, but she’s doing much better now. Benjamin is a little stuffed up, a little warm, and has a little cough. Hopefully it all stays little. Houston seemed like he was going to skate by with nothing more than copious amounts of snot to wipe all over everything, but shortly after being put down for his nap today I heard him crying for me and yelling, “Ear hurts! Ear hurts!” Awesome. I’m hoping that doesn’t turn into much. I’m really hoping to avoid a trip to the doctor.

We’ve been hit hard this winter and all I can do is hope that they are building up lots of antibodies for next season. I can’t take another winter full of snot. I can’t.