Monthly Archives: September 2011

Have some free time and a family to neglect? Start reading these books (assuming you haven’t already).

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I need to stop reading The Hunger Games Trilogy.  For a little while.  Just writing this is an attempt to do something other than read the third book.  I started the series on Saturday while getting my hair done.  I have read during almost every available moment since then.  I put my son in a jumperoo watching nursery rhymes ondemand for close to an hour and then sat in the chair next to him and read.  These books are so good.  I’m pretty sure they are geared toward people younger than me, but what good series these days isn’t (I mean you Harry Potter and Twilight).  I skipped writing a Marriage ‘Wars’ post this week in part because of these books.  The other reason is that there is a Marriage ‘Wars’ war going on between my husband and me: I have a topic I think a lot of people will relate to and he is censoring me.

The worst part about being hooked on these books is that I am boarding an airplane at 7:00 tomorrow morning with two children (and no husband) and I am nowhere near being packed and ready to go.  I did do about six loads of laundry and made lists of things I need to remember, but I’m far from ready.  All I will want to do during the five hour flight is read, but I would bet one billion dollars I will not have the opportunity.  I can read with one hand using my Kindle, so there is a sliver of hope but I’m not counting on it.

So, if you have a weekend you want to spend doing nothing more than sitting with your eyes glued to these books and you don’t mind neglecting your family for a little while, I recommend them.

Some things I’ve learned that will (hopefully) make air travel with kids a little less of a nightmare

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This list is for air travel and is geared toward parents flying alone with one or more children.  All of these tips apply to two parents flying together, but let’s be honest – the more adults involved the easier things are. You can share lap duty, pee by yourself, maybe even read a magazine or take a nap.

One thing to keep in mind is that younger your baby is, the easier your trip will be.  This is a general rule and obviously will not apply in all situations (like if your baby only stops crying when you walk around or bounce on an exercise ball like mine did) but generally speaking little babies sleep a lot, sleep anywhere and sleep through most noise.  The first time I flew with Madeline she was almost 5 months old.  I was so nervous that she was going to be the crying baby on the plane.  We flew from Seattle to Philadelphia with one stop and she slept through most of it.  Subsequent flights have not been as easy.  The more mobile they are the more they know what they are missing out on by being stuck on your lap the whole time.

Almost five months old and just chilling out in the airport.

So here is the wisdom I’ve acquired after taking a few cross country tips with Madeline and one family of four trip to California:

1. Don’t bring too much crap.  I’ve learned this one the hard way.  As a mom you never want to be caught unprepared, but you have to be efficient.  Obviously if your kid(s) are in diapers you will need enough of those.  Definitely bring an extra outfit because if you don’t the baby will blow out his diaper and get poop on his clothes.

Bring a blanket.  In addition to the obvious use if it gets cold, you can also use it to give a little extra cushion next to the armrest for nursing or over your seat belt so they don’t have to sit on it.

Snacks are a must. Houston is currently enrolled in Advanced Placement Puffs Eating in preparation for our trip next week.  He is almost coordinated to eat more than three in an hour.  Put stuff in a snack trap to keep it sorta neat.

Entertainment is necessary, but be efficient. I cannot say enough good things about the iPad 2.  I am expecting it to be worth its weight in gold during our trip and will be sorely disappointed if it isn’t.  That thing is a dvd player/coloring book/library/ all wrapped into one neat little package.

Unless you will need it at your destination, consider leaving the stroller at home.  I’ve brought one on every trip and really only ended up using it to push my carry-on around while carrying the baby on my chest.  That being said, I didn’t mind having the stroller to push the stuff around, but that’s because I usually bring too much crap.  It’s just one more thing to get through security.  It’s easy enough to check it at the gate, so just do what you think will work for you.

2. Ignore the people who give you dirty looks when your baby cries or your kid whines.  Worrying about them will only stress you out more, and it’s not like you aren’t going to do everything you can to calm them down.  This is number two because I think it’s super important.  You don’t need extra anxiety when flying with kids.  Adults have an obligation to bring ear plugs or headphones or something to block out the sound of crying or whining that might interrupt their peaceful flight.  Now, noise is one thing but if your kid is a seat kicker you need to get that shit under control quick.  People get PISSED when their seat is kicked and you deserve the dirty looks if you don’t take care of it.

3. Whenever possible, take a direct flight.  It’s hard these days because of the cost and the airlines not offering a lot, but it is worth a few extra bucks if you can swing it.  Anytime you have to stop there is a risk that your next flight will be delayed.  One delay can make what is already a really long day into airport/airplane hell.  A longer day means you might need more crap.  See #1 about not bringing too much crap.

4. Bring a comfort item. No matter how grossed out you will be if it falls on the floor or touches any part of the plane, do not forget their lovey, or blankie, or paci or binky or whatever it is that keeps that calm and accompanies them to bed.  This is especially important for long flights where you have a hope/expectation that a nap is on the itinerary.

5. If you are breastfeeding be prepared to do it on the plane.  Bring your nursing cover or let it all hang out, but whatever your preference there is a good chance you will be doing it at some point.  If your baby takes a bottle I would advise bringing some pumped milk just because a bottle is a little less awkward than nursing in the confines of coach.  BUT most moms know that there is no better way to calm a little one (and hopefully get her to sleep) than by sticking a boob in her mouth.

6. If they are offering it, take advantage of the opportunity to pre-board.  In the past I’ve had mixed feelings about this.  I’ve never wanted to  spend more time on the plane than absolutely necessary, but pre-boarding means there is a better chance that a flight attendant will be able to help you.  We know they get busy explaining the rules about carry-on luggage five thousand times to the morons who brought a larger than average carry-on and who insist on jamming all their excess crap in the overhead bin rather than under the seat in front of them.  Speaking of the overhead bins, pre-boarding guarantees that you will be able to store your carry-on with essential items in the bin and not running the risk of having to check it because everyone carries on these days.

7. Arrive early, but not too early.  You want to limit the amount of time you are just hanging out in the airport entertaining your kids and chasing them around the gate area.

8. Dress in layers.

9.  Consider using an overnight diaper to limit the number of necessary changes due to wetness.  Nothing you can do about poop, but who wants to make more trips to the bathroom than necessary.  Especially if you are traveling with more than one kid.  If your plane has a changing table that’s great because they’re actually pretty big (considering).  If you don’t have one, then you will need to improvise.  On a flight from Seattle to Los Angeles I had to change Houston (4 months) on top of the toilet seat.  Not easy at that age when all he wants to do is twist and turn and kick.

10.  When you check in ask if there are any empty seats. If there are, see whether they can move you around so that you are next to one.  If you’re traveling with an infant on your lap it will be nice to have the extra space and you can even forego checking your car seat and bring it with you so that you have somewhere to put him down.

11.  If you are traveling with a toddler who now needs her own seat, consider getting one of these harnesses:

CARES Child Aviation Restraint System

 Traveling by myself there is no chance I am lugging her car seat through the airport.  This thing takes up no space in your bag and is really easy to put on.  To be honest it doesn’t seem like the most comfortable option, but Madeline slept the entire way from Los Angeles to Seattle the first time we used it.

12. Get a car seat bag for your car seat.  We have this one, but I have never (and probably will never) carry it on my back:

My husband looks just as happy as this guy when using our bag. Yeah, right. No one looks this happy if they are lugging a car seat around the airport.

Brica Car Seat Travel Tote

You can just check your car seat as is and pick it up at baggage claim, but a bag like this will keep it clean.  It is also a great place to put extra stuff that might not fit in your checked luggage or if you go to check-in and your bag is over the 50 pound limit (happens to me almost every time).  It’s free to check your car seat, so maximize the space in that bag.

So there you have it folks.  I’m sure there are things I forgot or haven’t thought of, but this is as thorough as I could come up with.  Other parents are by far the best resource for this sort of thing, so do us all a favor and share your tips and tricks.

Marriage ‘Wars’: Part II

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So last week was probably a little one sided.  I don’t think Jay got any support for his towel thievery, which is quite understandable in my opinion.  This week I have a topic that does not guarantee me a win: rats.  About 18 months ago or so I put some bird feeders out in the yard.  They attracted a decent variety of birds for us to enjoy and for the cats to salivate over from the dining room window.  One winter day last year I was feeding Madeline when she pointed out the window and exclaimed, “squirrel!”  I looked and did not see a squirrel; I saw a rat hanging on the feeder snacking on the suet.

This is a squirrel.

Clearly not a squirrel.

I’m not that familiar with rats, but it seemed like an average size rodent.  I did a little research and learned that rats will frequent bird feeders, either climbing on them or snacking on the seed that has fallen on the ground.  I read that if I wanted to avoid rats coming to the feeder I should just put enough food to feed the birds for one day and then make sure they are empty at night.  Um, too much work.  I wasn’t too concerned about the rat.  It was outside, where rats live, and we have two cats and a dog happy to kill it if it did come inside.  The poor thing was just hungry.

Fast forward to this summer and Jay is home from Afghanistan.  I hadn’t mentioned the rat, figuring he had more important things to think about.  Then he saw it:

Jay:  There is a f-ing rat on the bird feeder.

Me:  Don’t say f-ing.  Yes, sometimes there is a rat that comes to eat.  It’s not a big deal.

Jay:  Rats are disgusting and carry diseases.

Me:  Not all rats have diseases.  Just being a rat does not make it diseased.

Jay:  I’m going to kill it.

Me:  No, you’re not.  First of all, you won’t be able to catch it. It runs under the deck as soon as it hears the door open.  Second of all, it’s not hurting anything.

Jay:  I’m going to kill it.  I don’t want that thing in my backyard where my kids play.

Me:  Yeah, cause it’s going to come out and run around the yard while the kids are out there.

Jay:  I’m going to kill it.

Me:  Calm down Rambo (then I knock on the window, warning the rat to go hide).  [let the larger fight not appropriate for sharing ensue because I made fun of him and called him Rambo and for scaring the rat and foiling his plan to kill it]

There were actually two rats that frequent our feeders and are undeterred by the presence of humans, canines or felines.  I started letting the cats out every time I saw one, hoping it would be too scared of death to return.  I would rather they find a new place to hang out or even get killed by one of the cats (a natural death in the rodent world) than Jay catch it and inflict the true death.  I can’t protect these rats forever.  I did see a crow flying overhead two weeks ago with a rat in his mouth, but I don’t know if it was one of ‘our’ rats.  They have been more scarce since our cats started going outside full time, but occasionally I see one jumping from the feeder when I open the back door.

So, who’s right?  Am I being silly wanting to protect the rats?  Are they vile and disgusting creatures that have no business living anywhere near our house?

It’s the first of the month… So here’s some stuff you can go spend your hard earned paycheck on

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Before you continue reading this post, go to Amazon and sign up for Amazon Mom.  I promise I get nothing for recommending Amazon Mom.  I just think it is the best deal and if you haven’t heard about it you are missing out. It’s free to join and you can get up to a year of Amazon Prime benefits.  That means FREE two day shipping, no matter how much your order total is and no matter what you are buying.  Want to buy a two pack of pacifiers for $4.00 but don’t feel like spending another minute at Target?  Order from Amazon, pay nothing in shipping and have them in two days.  You get free shipping for three months and for every $25 you spend in the baby store you earn another month.  Let’s just say that I have free two day shipping until Christmas and my dog and the UPS man are best friends.

Okay, now onto the stuff you should buy after joining Amazon Mom.  In my 2.5 years as a mom and eight months as a mom of two, I’ve come across a few things that I think are great and worth spending a few bucks on.  Here is some of the stuff I am loving right now.

These table are great because there is so much for the baby to do and it grows with him.  Take the legs off when your baby is crawling or just playing on his belly and put them back on when he can pull himself up.  They feel super strong and important as they play the music and cruise around the table.

LeapFrog Learn & Groove Musical Table

We call this guy ‘Buddy.’  There is a HUGE selection of animals to choose from and they are super soft and I kind of want my own to sleep with or to get me through long car rides.  Houston has the frog and Madeline has the bear.  I recommend getting more than one so that you can keep them clean.  If your kid is like mine he will get attached and they can get gross fast.  Some kids get attached to that dirty smell, so being able to rotate in a clean one is helpful.  Madeline is so attached that we are about to start weaning her off during the day.  Buddy will be for bed and the car and that’s it.  I’m not looking forward to this.  That’s how attached she is.  Houston started using his in his crib a few weeks ago and it’s like magic.  I put him down, hand him the frog and he pulls it to his face, puts his fingers in his mouth and its off to dreamland.

                              

Angel Dear Blankie

You need to have a place to put bath toys and this thing is great.  Yes it’s a big green frog hanging on your shower wall, but it really isn’t that hideous.  When you have kids you have to get used to ugly plastic stuff around your house.  You can scoop up the toys while the bath is still full and the water drains from the bottom.  Madeline actually cooperates a lot more with clean-up when she gets to scoop the toys herself.

Boon Pod Bath Toy Scoop, Green Frog

Reading has always been part of our bedtime routine and Goodnight Moon is a great place to start.  We read the book then say good night to everyone in the family (including the cats and the dog of course).  You will have it memorized in no time which is nice if you are away and forget the book.  Just recite the words and they will trigger the brain that its time to go to sleep.

Goodnight Moon

This is a pricey one, but if you are in the market for a good camera that is easy to use and has a fast shutter speed for catching kids in motion, this is it.  It also has HD video.  I know nothing about electronics, but a friend/co-worker of Jay’s who knows a lot and used this one to take photos and videos in Afghanistan recommended it.  I feel like a real photographer when I use it, and manage to take some pretty decent pictures without having any real skill.

Canon EOS Rebel T2i 18 MP CMOS APS-C Digital SLR Camera with 3.0-Inch LCD and EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS Lens

Wooden blocks are just fun and when they have letters they are also educational.  Madeline loves stacking hers and building “castles” and lining them up to make the alphabet.  Houston love to knock over her castles and chew on the letters.  It’s a win win for everyone.

Melissa & Doug Deluxe 50-piece Wooden ABC/123 Blocks Set

Fact: white noise helps babies sleep.  Fact: no adult wants to be tip toeing around their house afraid that the baby is going to wake up.  No one wants to wake the baby.  The older they get, the lighter they tend to sleep.  You can buy a fancy sound machine that makes sounds like you’d hear in a rain forest or at the beach, OR you can spend $15 on a box fan with three speeds that also doubles as a…fan!  Sit it on the floor when it’s cooler and put it in the window when you want some air coming in.  When I am in one of the kids’ rooms and the fan is on I can’t hear anything from the rest of the house,  including the room right next door that may or may not house a screaming infant named Houston.

Lasko 20″ Box Fan

I spend about 99% of my time in my house.  Therefore I spend about 95% of my time in slippers.  Uggs are my absolute favorite and if you have between $80 and $100 to spend on slippers, get them.  Your feet will thank you.  I recently got the Tasman slippers and they are great because they have a real sole and can be worn outside.  I don’t wear them outdoors much, but it’s great when I need to run something out to the trash or grab something from the car.

 

UGG Women’s Tasman

These baby food pouches are THE BEST!  I feed Houston homemade purees most of the time, but these are awesome in a pinch or for when you’re out and about.  At almost eight months he is getting the hang of holding the pouch himself and sucking out the food.  There are lots of interesting food combinations and they’re organic if you care about that.

Ella’s Kitchen Organic Baby Food 

HAPPYBABY Organic Baby Food

If your baby isn’t ready to hold the pouch herself Boon makes these handy spoon attachments.  They say they are for Plum Organics pouches, but they fit on all of them.  The spoon is a little deep, but it still works well and lets you feed your baby with one hand…so the other one can type or hold your phone or the tv remote.  Just kidding.  Sort of.

Plum Organics Dispensing Boon Spoon

They make squeeze food for older kids too.  Madeline LOVES these.  There is nothing better than squeeze applesauce.  They are especially great for the car because there is (usually) no mess.

GoGo Squeez appleapple, Applesauce on the Go

Now go forth and shop. It is Labor Day weekend, and you did labor to have your baby, so why not celebrate with some new stuff?

R.I.P. Pets (pets that have actually been dead for awhile)

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Every time I take one of our pets to the vet I see someone bringing in their cat or dog to be euthanized.  Every. Single. Time.  Last night I took our two cats in for vaccinations and as I was checking out a family of four came in with their cat snuggled in a fleece blanket.  At first I thought that maybe they had a kitten in there who just needed a check-up, but then the receptionist gave them a form to fill out and asked the mom, “Do you want to be with her?”  She said yes (right answer), and then the tears started.  Mine, not hers.

I’ve lost a few pets in my lifetime, but never one that was truly ‘mine’ the way our two cats and dogs are ‘mine.’  First was Gretchen, our family dog.  She was a German Shepherd mix who got older and had issues with her hips.  My parents took her to be put down while I stayed home and re-read one of my Baby-Sitters Club books (Kristy and the Snobs – thank you google) where Kristy’s family dog was put to sleep.  It just made me cry more, but I guess I needed it.

This is basically a pet cemetary at my parents' house. Those flowers are fertilized by dead cats.

I think our cat Breezy was the next to go.  I remember this one clearly.  I was in high school and it was the day our soccer team was having a car wash.  My mom or dad was supposed to pick me up and take me to the pool where I worked.  I saw the car, went over and saw both my parents.  Weird.  I went to get in and saw my mom had the cat on her lap.  Awesome.  Just a quick stop at the SPCA on the way to work.  No big deal.  She was old and it was the right thing to do, but I didn’t really want to be there.

Next was Nosy.  She must have known something was up because the day she was going to get put down she went and died under my parents’ bed instead.  She got buried in the backyard.

My senior year of high school we adopted a cat and named him Ralph.  He had been left by my friend’s neighbor when they moved.  Nice people.  He was not the smartest cat I’ve ever met and he got hit by a car on my birthday my freshman year of college.

Inky met his end on the living room floor.  The most memorable part of that death was the fact that my brother came home after being out with friends and noticed the cat was dead on the living room floor.  Did he tell anyone?  No. He went to bed and let one of my parents discover it in the morning.

Sox was a sudden one.  I was in Hawaii with my husband.  It was about 7:00 a.m. Hawaii time when my phone rang.  It was my mom and the first words out of her mouth were, “Sox is dead!”  I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, but no one else was home or answering their phone.  Apparently she went out to run errands and came home to find the cat dead on the kitchen floor.  No clear explanation of what happened.  I blame the dog.

White Face (weird name, I know….long story) was Sox’s son.  He died of old age, blind, incontinent and living in fear of my parents’ dog.

White Face on the left and Sox on the right

Either before or after White Face was Tiger.  He was a HUGE cat and that probably had something to do with his death.  He had a blood clot or something that was really painful and there was nothing the vet could do for him.  Another one that kind of came out of nowhere.

Tiger. No, he's not dead here.

I dread the day any of my current pets have to be put to sleep. The cats might just pass quietly in the night (hoping) but I rarely hear of dogs going naturally. Dogs also don’t tend to live as long as cats, which means my kids will be younger when we have to explain where we’re taking Zoe and why she isn’t coming home. As I left to take the cats to the vet last night Madeline said, “I want my kitty cats!” We had to explain that they were coming back with Mommy. When I got home and went to kiss her good night she immediately asked, “My kitties home?” She assured me that she was okay while I was gone because Zoe and Daddy stayed with her. She loves these animals so much and they have been in her face since the day she came home.

I also know that I will stay with the dog if/when the time comes. Jay and I have had this discussion, usually inspired by me watching Marley & Me  EVERY time it is on tv.  I just can’t help myself.  Even though I know what happens and even though my reaction is just as bad as when I saw it in the theater and spent the whole movie wiping snot on my sleeve.

Love ya Zo Zo.

Please feel free to share your pet memories. I love a good cry.