On Friday I started reading The Business of Baby, by Jennifer Margulis. The author’s name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place her until I looked at her picture on the book jacket. It was then I remembered seeing her interviewed in Frontline’s piece on vaccines. She is not a fan. In the interest of full disclosure I was a little bummed. I did not agree with a lot of what she said on Frontline, and was a little leery of reading a whole book by her. That being said, it seemed well-researched, covering a lot of topics from prenatal care through baby’s first year, and had good initial reviews on Amazon. I dove in.

I finished the book last night and let’s just say it gave  me a lot of things to think about. It is a book that I wish was around before I had children because some of what I read would have impacted decisions I made, questions I asked, questions I didn’t ask, and products I purchased.

The purpose of this post/review is to highlight some of the information I found most thought-provoking and give people a few things to consider who might not be interested in reading a book like this, but who do read this blog.

I didn’t read this book and take everything at face value. Much of what I found compelling echoed things I had read before. In that sense some of the information reassured me about decisions I made as a pregnant woman and as a mom. Some of the information made me wish I had trusted my gut.

ULTRASOUND

Saturday morning I took Madeline to ballet. That hour that I sit and wait is when I get a lot of reading done. I came home and told Jay that when we have our hypothetical fourth baby we will not be finding out the gender because I’m not getting any ultrasounds (unless some problem arises that makes the benefit outweigh the risks). I had read before about ultrasound changing cell structure in mice, so the idea that there might be some risks to ultrasound, especially multiple ultrasounds like some women have, or long ultrasounds like many women have around the mid-point of pregnancy, was not surprising. Anecdotally, at my 20 week ultrasound with Madeline the technician had a really hard time getting a look at her head because she kept moving away. I remember thinking that it seemed like she was trying to get away. I wish that I had just stopped the ultrasound right there. But I didn’t. I didn’t really question the safety much at that point.

Before each of my next 20 week ultrasounds I told myself that if I felt anything like I had with Madeline I would discontinue the test. The boys never seemed to be trying to escape, but after Benjamin’s Jay even told me that he felt like it was really invasive. The way she pushed the wand into my belly to get the baby to move around and “show” her the right parts. I told him that I had my reservations about it, but what if they did see something? One of those rare cases where they detect some abnormality that can be fixed via surgery while the baby is still in utero? Or something that they will need to act on as soon as the baby is born? But much of the data shows that on average, outcomes are not better because of ultrasound. Yet according to the Listening to Mothers Survery released last week, 70% of mothers have three or more ultrasounds. If results aren’t better, and the data is pretty clear that they aren’t great at estimating fetal size, one of the major reasons many women have them (and why a lot of women are induced or sectioned for a suspected “big baby”), why subject the baby to the test? Do we know they are safe in the long term? It was once thought x-rays of pregnant women were a good idea.

We do know doctors make more money when they do ultrasounds.

FORMULA

This is one of the big ones that really gets me. The way the companies producing formula influence doctors, nurses and new mothers makes me sick. I’m not attacking anyone’s decision to feed their baby formula. I know that not everyone can breastfeed. I know firsthand that it can be difficult and you might supplement or not breastfeed for a full year. What I do want people to think about is why they are using formula and why they are using the formula they are. Know how breastfeeding works and do not allow nurses at the hospital to give your baby formula or anything else. 99% of the time your baby is okay. They will lose weight after birth. They will lose more if you had interventions causing the baby to retain fluid. Your milk will come in. Colustrum is all your baby needs at first. Don’t take samples. Having the product in your home will make it more likely that you use it.

Also, Don’t call Similac or Enfamil or Gerber for breastfeeding advice.

This is a screenshot from the Similac website. You might think, “Wow, they are so nice to offer help with breastfeeding.” But why would they really offer helpful advice? Is that in their interest? What are the chances you get through a conversation with them without them offering formula as a solution to your problems? They are not using certified lactation consultants to give you advice. They are using employees of a company producing baby formula.

Similac will even email you infomation about feeding your baby and his/her development. You can even get over $300 in “great offers.” Do you think its a coupon for a breast pump?

If the hospital or your doctor gives you formula samples do not take that as an endorsement of the brand. They got it free from the formula company so that they would give it to their patients who will see it as an endorsement and then buy it themselves. Even though they can get the same thing in a generic version for MUCH cheaper. Companies making formula donate millions of dollars to the American Academy of Pediatrics each year. Next time you are in a maternity ward or a pediatrician’s office keep an eye out for products with the brand name of formula on it – pens, notepads, tape measure for measuring baby’s head circumference, handouts about various infant care issues, posters on the wall, etc. When I had my first two babies in a military hospital in Washington I did not see one bottle or container of formula. I’m sure they had it because sometimes it is necessary, but I never saw it. With my last baby there were shelves of it in the room where they bathed the babies. Right next to the bassinet under the warmer. You couldn’t miss it. My doctor’s office had goodie bags with samples and who knows what else right behind the receptionist’s desk. There were brochures in the waiting room. These things do not support breastfeeding and undermine women’s attempts to feed their baby the most natural way possible.

Also, the United States was the only country to vote against a document written by the World Heath Organization that would protect moms from unethical advertising by formula companies. The International Code of Marketing of Breast Milk Substitutes instructed that, “Health workers should not give samples of infant formula to pregnant women, mothers of infants and young children, or members of their families.”

DIAPERS

When Houston was just over a year old I switched to cloth diapers. I heard that kids in cloth diapers get less diaper rashes and Houston was prone to some bad ones. I also heard that cloth diapered babies potty train earlier because they feel wet after they pee. I had always pictured cloth diapers from when I was a baby, secured with pins and needing to be folded and all sorts of things I didn’t feel motivated to get into. Not the case with cloth diapers these days.

We all know that disposable diapers are expensive, contain all kinds of ingredients, and produce enormous amounts of trash. I won’t go into all that. What I did find interesting was the information on potty training. Back before disposable diapers were the norm 90% of children were potty trained by around 18 months. Now the average age is between 36-39 months. Cloth diapers don’t hold as much urine and babies/toddlers still have the sensation of being wet. And that’s not comfortable. Good disposable diapers can be left on for hours and hold a lot of liquid. Now we have kids still wearing diapers at three and four years old and this is normal. But is it necessary? Many kids are interested in the potty before then, but we don’t really take on the task of potty training because they seem so young. Interestingly some research indicates that earlier potty training actually leads to less bed wetting and day wetting than waiting until the child is older. Who benefits from four year olds in diapers? The diaper manufacturers who make size 5-6 diapers. We even have pull-ups to “help” with potty training, but all they really are are more diapers. Pampers had a pediatrician on its payroll for years who advocated for a child led approach that put off potty training.

This is another place where product placement is huge. Diaper manufacturers give their products to hospitals for free to be given to new parents. They know that if you get a package of Pampers Swaddlers at the hospital, you are more likely to continue using them when you get home. What if they gave you a couple of cloth diapers and showed you how easy it can be? There is a hospital in Colorado that uses exclusively cloth. They don’t want to endorse disposable diapers generally or a brand of diaper specifically. They also think that cloth on a newborn is a better option than a diaper made out of so many synthetic ingredients.

Are cloth diapers for everyone? I would argue they can be, but in reality that’s probably not the case. I would rather a busy working mom have more time with her kids than spend it washing diapers. I use disposable sometimes when we go out and I use them at night. This is all just stuff to think about more critically.

Obviously a lot of the information in the book shows correlations. A correlation between use of ultrasound and autism. A correlation between use of disposable diapers and late potty training. No one made it through the first five minutes of a high school statistics class without learning that correlation does not equal causation. Say it with me: correlation does not equal causation. However, what correlation does do is give us things to consider. Just because it doesn’t prove causation doesn’t mean that there is not relationship. Being pregnant is an amazing and exciting experience. So is having a child. We owe it to ourselves and to our kids to do our homework. Stop buying What to Expect When You’re Expecting (it’s a waste of money – all of the information is free on their website) and buy a book that will really educate you about the process of giving birth. Spend as much time making decisions about whether to breastfeed and what kinds of diapers to use and whether to circumcise as you spend decorating the nursery and creating your gift registry.

P.S. It’s no secret how I feel about childbirth and stuff. Everyone should make their own decisions. Educated decisions. If you can point me to the book that talks about how birth with lots of interventions is better, or how breastfeeding isn’t as good as we think, or how disposable diapers are good for the environment, I will read it.

This week we subscribed to the New York Times with home delivery on Sunday. Yesterday we received it for the first time. I’ve been up since 6:00 with Madeline and Houston, so I thought I might take some time during Benjamin’s morning nap to read a little bit. I already read most of the articles that looked interesting on my phone, but still wanted to check out the “Sunday Styles” section. You know, the section with engagement announcements and stories about Oscar fashion but lacking any actual news. I was drawn to it by the front page and teasers for two articles: one on marijuana etiquette in these new times of legal pot (we do plan on moving back to Washington one day) and the other having something to do with nannies or babysitters.

In the first article I learned some real eye opening information like how smoking in front of children is nearly universally frowned upon. The second article was more interesting. I learned that rich people who employ nannies full-time and need help managing their feelings about their employee(s) can pay a clinical psychologist $200/hour for consultation services. I’ll admit, I was judgmental about the parents mentioned in this article and the really hard time they seem to be having managing their expectations for their multiple nannies. It didn’t help that the first example was one from the wife of James Van Der Beek (yes, of Dawson’s Creek fame) and included her saying, “I just find that if I’m around, I’m the one taking care of the kids.” Now, if she works from home and is being interrupted to take care of the kids during her work hours, I can understand her frustration with the nanny. The article only mentioned that she is a parenting blogger. For the record, I could call myself a parenting blogger. I tried to find her blog, but only found her facebook page and that mentions she blogs for People.

I’m a little torn because I just googled her and read that she had a breech home birth. So I kind of love her, but don’t feel sorry for her nanny woes.

The article also quotes her saying, “I like to be preventive about things. If Olivia wakes up from her nap at four, I’d like to know that there’s a snack ready. There never is.” Now, does Olivia never get a snack, or does she have to wait five minutes while it is prepared? I have a feeling it is the latter.

I think this is one of the fundamental issues parents (usually moms) face when hiring help or putting their children in full-time care: you have to give up some control. If you want everything done your way, you have to do it yourself. Or, as the nanny consultant recommends (and seems pretty obvious to me), you need to let your nanny know your expectations. How is the sitter supposed to know that you don’t want your toddler to have to wait five minutes unless you tell her? I really can’t get past that one though. Who cares? Mrs. Van Der Beek says she does it that way because she wants to be “preventive.” Does she mean prepared, or is she trying to prevent something? Like an insane tantrum from the girl because when she wakes up she wants her snack NOW! Either way it doesn’t seem like a problem worth paying $200/hour to solve.

I can’t imagine having full-time help and I’m sure that managing people is challenging. I just have a hard time finding sympathy for rich celebrities who don’t work full-time, hire people, fail to outline their expectations, and get frustrated with their help because they aren’t playing with their kids every second of the damn day. The first issue mentioned in the article involved the nanny sitting there drinking tea while the Van Der Beeks’ seven month old son was lying on the floor. In the article Mrs. Van Der Beek said, “She lets Joshua just lie on the floor while she’s drinking her tea. Put some pep in that step. Put the tea down.” HE IS SEVEN MONTHS OLD! They’re supposed to lie on the floor sometimes. That comment makes me think there is no way this woman has not had help since the second she became a mother. What does she think seven month olds do? Maybe if he was crying I would see a problem, but just like you never wake a sleeping baby, you never move one that isn’t crying or in danger. If the kid was cool lying on the floor let the woman drink her tea! Mine would spend most of the day on the floor if he wasn’t at risk of being trampled by his brother and sister. And if my floor didn’t look like this:

When you don’t have a nanny, the kids entertain themselves.

Hey People Magazine – I can blog for you. I don’t have any nannies or nanny consultants, so I bet I’m cheaper. My contact info is at the top of the page.

The article I read is: Smoothing the Frictions Between Parent and Nanny from the February 24, 2013 edition of the New York Times

This app got kind of shitty reviews, but I wanted to test it out on my own. No better way to have a blog full of typos than by posting via my phone.

Cute photo of the day:

I started writing this blog in February of 2011. I had a one month old baby and my husband was finishing up the last few months of a tour in Afghanistan. With today marking the eleventh anniversary of 9/11 we all see the words, “Never Forget” in our Facebook newsfeeds, on the television, in the newspaper. Never forget? How could we? Even those who were too young to remember where they were that day will never forget. Just as we have not forgotten Pearl Harbor, or the assassination of Abraham Lincoln or John F. Kennedy. To some it will be another event learned about in history class but to others it will be an all too clear memory. I remember where I was on 9/11. I sat in the living room of my apartment at Penn State and watched the second plane hit the tower live on the Today Show. I was watching the news  a short time later when the Pentagon was hit. I was running late that day and walked into a classroom where no one knew what had happened. No one really knew exactly what happened.

The reminders to never forget 9/11 are important. It is important that we take the time today to remember the lives lost that day and the way we have been changed as a country. However, I think a lot of our nation needs a reminder of something else: the brave Servicemembers who are still overseas fighting this war. How Afghanistan and our troops have become an “oversight” to some politicians is astonishing. However I don’t think they are alone. Such a small percentage of the population is personally impacted by war today that it is easy to forget. I doubt I would be any better. If I was not an “Army Wife” I’m sure I would be living my life without much thought about our Soldiers and their families.

So take the time today to remember 9/11. Tell your kids what happened that day: where you were and how you felt. Then take another few minutes and tell them about a Soldier who lost his life in Iraq or Afghanistan. Tell them about the Soldiers who are still fighting and the families who wait for their phone calls and emails and reassurance that they are okay.

My husband came home after his tour and met his son. Not everyone is so fortunate. They should never for forgotten.

Jay served with SGT Jimmy Ide in Afghanistan. His was one of the first deaths during Jay’s deployment in 2010-2011.

Memorial for SGT James “Jimmy” Ide KIA August 29, 2010

SGT Jimmy Ide and his dog, Daphne

Sergeant First Class Benjamin Wise was wounded in Afghanistan on January 9, 2012 and died from those wounds on January 15, 2012. My husband was intimately involved in the arrangement of transporting his body back to the United States and planning the funeral with his family. He was why our son is named Benjamin.

SFC Ben Wise was the second son his parents lost. His brother, Jeremy Wise, was killed in Afghanistan in 2009. His younger brother, Beau, is a Marine.

Last night Jay and I were in bed and I flipped the channel on the tv to the show Extreme Couponing. I had just commented that TLC feeds its own programming because these people were going to be on Hoarders in a few years when Jay noticed #ExtremeCouponing at the top of the screen and asked me what that pound sign meant. I used my vast internet knowledge to explain that it is called a “hashtag” and it is used to track what is trending on Twitter. Basically, what is everyone tweeting about. He picked up his phone and clicked on his Twitter app (yes, he has a Twitter account but did not know about hashtags) to see what was currently trending. He started a video and told me it was from number one on the list: #stopkony. For the next 30 minutes or so we were glued to his iphone screen.

I admit, I had seen someone post a link to the video on Facebook earlier that evening but didn’t watch. I have to be pretty interested to watch any videos, and I don’t think I’ve ever watched one that lasted for more than five minutes.

I had heard of Joseph Kony. Jay was this close to deploying to Africa to aid in the fight against this evil warlord. I understand the risk to our Soldiers when we send them into fights like this, but sometimes it must be done. Not because we have an economic interest or a security interest, but because it is right and because we can help in ways other countries cannot.

I am asking you to watch this video (in case you aren’t one of the millions of people around the world who already have). Take the next 30 minutes, and instead of scrolling through Pinterest, or reading Barstool Sports, or stalking your friends on Facebook, or shopping, watch this video. You will be moved and you will want to do something.

I have a lot of hair. On my head. A lot of pretty long, curly hair. I’m also pregnant, which means I’m not losing all of the hair I would normally lose. For those of you who don’t know, your hair doesn’t fall out at the same rate when you are pregnant. It falls out in huge clumps sometime after the baby is born to make up for lost time. This is a great side effect of pregnancy if you happen to normally have thinner hair. I don’t have thin hair. Never have. So, it just keeps getting fuller and fluffier.

I also don’t wash it everyday, so once I pull it up on a day I have washed it, it stays that way until the next shower (which could be days away).

In addition to being full, it is also getting long and ends up in a ponytail or bun pretty quickly. I am starting to get sick of it, as I usually do when I let it get long. Then I normally cut a lot of it off just to do something different. I love it for a week or two, but then it starts to grow back and I hate it and vow to let it get long and keep it that way. And the cycle continues. This time I vowed not to cut it too short while pregnant because a short haircut does not mix well with all of the extra volume. But I’m starting to get dangerously close to cutting it off. The problem with my hair is that it is usually okay short and long, but there are a lot of awkward in-between lengths that I hate.

I’ve been thinking about getting a dramatically short cut, a la Felicity sophomore year. I’m hesitant because I’m not sure that weight gain and swelling in my face will go well with such a short style. I also know that it will grow back quickly and then I need to either maintain the short cut (like getting it trimmed really often) or put up with a painful grow out. I’m also hesitant because I know that Keri Russell never cut her hair that short again, which indicates to me that she didn’t love it.

I think she looks great. Keep in mind I look nothing like her, but our hair is similar enough.

So like any big decision, I’d love to have input from readers and Facebook friends. Has anyone with really long, curly hair (or any kind of long hair) ever cut off a huge amount like that? Did you love it or hate it?

Husband (H) and Wife (W) live in the rainy Pacific Northwest. H has started reading about running ultra-marathons and has been researching techniques for minimizing potential injuries from running. H and W own a nice treadmill to use when running outside is less than desirable. The treadmill needs what appears to be a minor repair to straighten out the belt. The treadmill is currently in the garage, surrounded by boxes and excess personal items.

H has been talking about fixing the treadmill and needs W’s help. W is not as motivated to spend her precious free time in the evening repairing the treadmill in the cold garage. Therefore, W has not taken any initiative when it comes to this project. H is motivated so that he can do more actual running rather than just reading about running. He is anxious to try barefoot running and would prefer to start on the treadmill rather than the pavement.

The problem is that H is motivated to have the treadmill fixed, but less motivated to do the actual fixing. Yesterday he approached W and offered a solution. H said that if W fixed the treadmill he would give her four hours on a weekend to herself. No kids, no H, no home/family obligations. W asked if she she was required to complete the repair without any assistance. H said, no. If there was a part of the job that required two people then he would help. It just needed to be done in the next two days. W took the deal.

A short time later H approached W and stated that he was having second thoughts about the deal. W said, too bad. We have a contract.

• Is there a contract? Identify the elements of the contract.
• What is the significance of the deadline for the job to be completed?
• What is H’s remedy of W does not repair the treadmill?
• What is W’s remedy if H does not give her time to herself after repairing the treadmill?

Jay and I went away for a night this weekend. Other than the time alone with my husband and time away from the kids and a nice dinner and sleeping in…finding this wine was the best part:

I don’t know how it tastes because I drank most of our bottle of wine at dinner on Saturday night, but I’m sure it’s good enough. If it’s gross, oh well. It was only $9.00.

Yesterday Jay had to go visit a Soldier whose wife had just had a baby. Apparently getting to hold their little one was a very moving experience. He came home committed to having another baby. Now. I attribute this to the fact that he missed Houston’s birth and he wants to have that experience. I’ve told him that Houston was kind of hard to be around for the first few months but he is undeterred.

I’ve been pretty strong on the third baby thing: I want one, but not too soon. The thing is, Houston has been sleeping well lately and is at a really fun age. I enjoy pregnancy and am starting to feel that little bit of envy when I see a pregnant woman. This spells trouble. I’m kind of forgetting how much it sucks to not sleep at night. Kind of. Sleep is still my favorite thing and I wake up every morning already looking forward to going to bed that night. There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to get enough sleep to really feel refreshed.

But then I had one too many pumpkin beers last night and starting thinking another baby won’t be bad. Started to think, what’s wrong with just letting nature take its course. I could actually get pregnant, that’s what’s wrong. But it’s not actually really wrong, or a bad thing, so…

Let’s just say we’re dreaming slightly different dreams these days.

Doesn't he look so happy? I'm pretty sure that in his dream that little bundle of joy is another boy.

My dream is not actually about snuggling with the dog, but I don't have another picture of myself sleeping. My dream about sleep would never include the dog next to my head. My sleep dream is a solitary one.

P.S. Any and all inquiries about hiring me as a graphic designer can be left in the comments section.

I used to be pretty fearless, at least in terms of doing things that might be deemed “dangerous.” I’ve been sky-diving, went bungee jumping (dangerous) in Mexico (double dangerous), and used to go white water rafting every fall with college friends. I’d like to blame my more fearful self on having children and not needing to take unnecessary risks that might leave them without a mother, but it actually started before then. I think there is something about getting older that makes you appreciate risks more. The best example of how I became wussier with old age comes from our yearly rafting trips.

We started going my sophomore year of college. My roommate was from West Virginia and had the idea that we all drive down and stay with her mom for the weekend and spend the day rafting on the Gauley River. Gauley season consists of a few weeks in September and October when the rapids are world-class due to releasing water from the Summersville Lake.  The first year we rafted the Lower Gauley, which is easier and has fewer Class V rapids. We never fell out of the raft, or “swam,” unless it was on purpose to pee. Boy did we think we were the best rafters ever. The next year we upgraded to the Upper Gauley and once again stayed in the raft. From that point on we thought we were pros when it came to rafting the Gauley River. Our biggest concern was making sure we all had on matching helmets so that our picture looked good.

Color coordination is where it's at.

Kid in the middle of the raft with a red helmet totally ruins it.

It’s easy to think you’re good at something when you don’t really understand how little control you have over the situation. Then you get cocky and become two whole minutes worth of the highlight video everyone watches at the end of the day. (The video isn’t actually tragic, nor is it actually us but that’s besides the point.)

We thought we were responsible for our wetsuits staying dry, but really it was the guide. He made sure we took the easier route through the rapid and that we never swam. When we did finally fall in we realized that it wasn’t that bad. It was actually kind of fun – if you fall in the river in the right place. So of course we wanted to up the ante. We started talking about using a smaller raft – one that was pretty much guaranteed to flip several times. (Un)fortunately we had too many people to do that. I was totally on board at this point and remember my friend’s mom cautioning us, “You all will want to do more and more each year until someone has a bad swim and never wants to go again.” I can still hear her saying it, but wasn’t really concerned at the time.

It was the next day that we started taking more risks. We informed our guide that we weren’t afraid to swim and he ran with it. Early in our trip he starts telling us about how we’re going to paddle straight toward a large rock in the middle of the river, hit it with the side of the raft and then climb out of the raft and up on to the rock. I looked at him and said (for the first and not last time that weekend), “Are you serious?” He was. One of us got up on the rock and it wasn’t me. I fell in and got sucked down under water a few times before the river spit me out. I came out on the side that leads right toward an undercut rock, which is a death trap if you find yourself underneath it. I’m trying to swim away from it, but the current kind of takes you toward it before leading away from it, so it feels like swimming is doing nothing. Meanwhile a different guide is standing in his raft with a whistle motioning for me to swim away from the rock. The whistle just makes it all seem scarier and more urgent.

I think it was the next day that we ended up in a really large raft because we had a couple of random people with us. The larger raft flips less, but is also more difficult to control. Even for our very competent and experienced guide (Dave – you and your crazy ideas about crashing a raft into and climbing onto a rock in the middle of a river will be forever burned in my brain). The day started off great when the random guy in our raft knocked me out at the top of a rapid. I had to swim the whole thing before getting back into the raft. Luckily it was a weak rapid and not scary.

We manage a few more rapids without losing anyone and then we get to Pillow Rock. Pillow Rock is the rapid where they take the pictures, so common sense would tell you that the goal is to hit that rapid with everyone facing downriver. Not that day and not in that giant raft. We could tell we were approaching it wrong and a little out of control. We knew this because we were facing the wrong direction and went down that rapid backwards.

Guide in the bottom of the raft reminds me of the time a different guide took us into a rapid and was SCREAMING instructions at us, "ALL BACK, LEFT BACK, RIGHT BACK!" Just before we hit the rapid we hear, "OH FUCK!" Not reassuring coming from the guide.

This is what it should look like.

I think the random guy might have fallen out, or at least lost a shoe on the way down…payback for knocking me out.  We continued down the river without incident until we decided to “surf.” This is where water pours over a rock and you can guide the raft in and kind of lodge it there and water dumps over the one side soaking everyone. This was a lot of fun and no one fell out. Then we tried to paddle out of the wave. We were stuck. We tried everything and then Dave directed us all to get on one side of the raft. I was suspicious because it seemed like doing that would flip the raft.  So I asked him, “Are we going to flip this raft on purpose?” Of course we were. And there’s the next, “Are you serious?” Normally when the raft flips it isn’t too bad because you don’t usually see it coming. It just happens and you’re in the water. Knowing that you are going to flip the raft is a little different. Just as we start to flip I try to get out of the way so that I don’t end up under the raft. Unsuccessful. I come up under the raft a couple of times before I get away from it. I lived. Obviously. And it wasn’t that bad.

None of this was really that scary, until the next year when we came back for more. At that point the little seed of fear was planted. I saw things as riskier and worried more about what could happen. I was a nightmare of a raft-mate. The annoying person who is nervous and scared and doesn’t want to swim. I didn’t want to do anything risky, especially paddle the raft into that damn rock again, but of course we did. And I fell in. And had to swim away from the death trap undercut rock again.

I would go again, but the kids thing does make me think about it twice. They act like they can’t live without me, so I need to be careful. But it is a good time!

If anyone is interested in whitewater rafting, or any other outdoor adventure, check out ACE Adventure Resort in West Virginia. They’re the best.

For those of you who read this and were actually on these trips, I apologize if things are not in chronological order. It’s been awhile, and my memory is not what it used to be.